Bizarro World

How was this ever allowed to happen?

2009-04-27T15:18:00.008-04:00

The original video from ESPN was taken down, so here's another:

Why kids need to take spelling seriously.

2009-04-08T17:36:00.002-04:00

Chad Vader: Day Shift Manager

2009-03-22T10:17:00.002-04:00

A web series worth watching. Here's episode 1 and 2:

Sony's new fucking piece of shit.

2009-02-17T20:59:00.004-05:00

2009-02-01T08:45:00.000-05:00

A night of Gag Inducing Injuries

2008-12-11T15:24:00.002-05:00

Last night's UFC Fights for the Troops event definitely had it's share of brutal knockouts and disturbing injuries. Here are a few of the aforementioned injuries:

This one is a good old fashioned muay thai beat down. If you just want to see the resulting bubble on the guy's forehead, skip to about 4:10.

This is what happens when you don't tap out from an arm bar, see 00:45 for the worst of it.

And by far the worst (this one made me throw up in my mouth a little bit):

Oh Weird Al, why don't you make new songs?

2008-10-18T10:07:00.002-04:00

I was listening to FM96 on my home from work, as I often do because I don't usually care what music is playing as long as it's rockesque. Anyways, they were playing AC/DC's Rock n' Roll Train for the ten millionth time this week so I switched over to something else. They were playing this song, which I thought was pretty funny. So here it is.

PS3 Guitar compatibility finally fixed.

2008-10-11T09:06:00.004-04:00

Last month I downloaded a patch for Rock Band that apparently finally allows me to use my GH3 controller. I only realized this today. Thank you for this update. It's just in time for me to send back my Rock Band guitar because the tilt sensor suddenly doesn't work 80% of the time. Also, just in time for the fix to be irrelevant now that Rock Band 2 is a week away. Thank you EA and Neversoft for finally resolving your issues. I look forward to more compatibilty issues that are solved just before the next round of games come out and nobody cares anymore.

What? That's not legal?

2008-09-23T19:48:00.004-04:00

This is from a Adrenaline MMA 1, a few months ago. What you want here is 4:35 till the end.

It doesn't even look close to accidental.

Things that make you say "ow!"

2008-09-23T19:29:00.007-04:00

This is from last night's DREAM 6 event. What you want here is 18:45 to see the slo-mo of the 2nd shot and 20:30 for the inadvertantly hilarious line delivered by Bas Rutten.

Gifs of Saturday's big upset KO

2008-09-09T16:10:00.003-04:00

I guess somebody had some free time to whip up some animated gifs of the aforeposted KO. He was out for over 2 minutes, which is probably about 10 times longer than most guys are knocked out for.

Biggest upset of the year and most brutal KO of the year

2008-09-07T12:22:00.011-04:00

Apparently the video was taken down. I've found another source. Enjoy.

Watching the replay in slow-mo makes me shudder a little, especially the angle from behind.

Proof that showoffs = best fighters ever

2008-09-07T12:12:00.002-04:00

Fastest KO in mma history

2008-08-15T00:39:00.001-04:00

Will they ever leave him alone?

2008-08-15T00:14:00.004-04:00

After realizing mma isn't for him, Kalib Starnes has found his true calling:

Also for older Kalib Starnes bashing for your view pleasure:

Maybe just skip to about 53 seconds on this one:

Fitch is Chimparific

2008-08-09T09:27:00.004-04:00

Photos from UFC 87 weigh-ins posted on mmamania reveal missing link in evolutionary chain:

Maybe instead of fighting GSP, Fitch should be fighting this guy:

He should've been knocked out at least 5 times.

2008-07-24T23:06:00.002-04:00

Cabbage can take a ridiculous number of punches directly to the chin, and the guy keep going. Check it out.

Some parents are retarded.

2008-07-21T21:42:00.002-04:00

Saw Dark Knight tonight. Awesome movie. What's not awesome is that some retards brought their 3 year old kid. She was terrified for half the movie. Nightmares for a week. Good work. Here's your fucktard of the month trophy.

Probably the craziest ko I've ever seen

2008-06-25T20:14:00.000-04:00

Crazy Flying Submissions

2008-06-08T12:36:00.002-04:00

Another one of the best mma fights ever

2008-05-12T16:41:00.004-04:00

Clay Guida vs. Tyson Griffin

Would spend your money on this?

2008-04-30T20:46:00.004-04:00

In a new series of posts (potentially limited to 1 post) I will attempt to unravel the mysteries of human spending habits.

Episode 1: Would you pay a hosting service to maintain this website?

One of the best fights ever.

2008-04-29T23:09:00.002-04:00

A few fights with Houston "Don't Blink" Alexander

2008-04-19T07:55:00.005-04:00

Someday I'd like to see what this guy is like in round 2.

Never kiss a fighter

2008-02-24T09:24:00.001-05:00

WWE's Brock Lesnar make his UFC debut

2008-02-24T09:16:00.003-05:00

The UFC obviously doesn't like these fights being available on youtube, here's another link to the fight.
Brock definitely showed a lot of potential. If he can learn some submission defence and how to punch with his left hand, he could be a major force in the heaveyweight division.

A few incredible (and unorthodox) KOs

2008-02-17T09:49:00.006-05:00

Shocking?

2008-01-03T23:03:00.000-05:00

Proof that van Damme is gay? You be the judge.

The loving look at the end must be a little disconcerting for Fedor.

Rock Band = Awesome

2007-12-24T00:00:00.000-05:00

I picked up rock band today. So much fun. Too bad they haven't put out the patch that lets you use the guitar hero 3 guitar.

Oh Picnicface, what will you think of next?

2007-12-14T22:48:00.000-05:00

Here's another video from Picnicface; full of randomness as per usual.

Hilarious!

2007-10-16T16:17:00.000-04:00

Here are a few youtube gems:

PC ads

2007-09-13T21:42:00.001-04:00

There was a fifth ad in the "Promises made, Promises broken" series that was more scathing than the rest. It was quickly taken off the website after several complaints. Here's a transcript:

"In 2003, Dalton McGuinty's son fell off his bike.
While trying to calm him down, he promised his son they'd go to Disney Land in 2007.
It's 2007: They haven't gone to Disney Land.
Dalton McGuinty: Dead beat dad, dead beat premier."

Cool Link

2007-09-10T18:39:00.000-04:00

Create your own Dylan cue card video. The comedic possibilities are endless.

American education system wins again.

2007-08-31T15:41:00.001-04:00

Check it.

Funny Stuff

2007-08-30T15:12:00.000-04:00

I can't count the number of times I've watched this and I still laugh out loud.

Wow.

2007-08-29T20:36:00.000-04:00

This is what Ozzy would sound like if he didn't mumble. Such as.

To all you not-watchin'-UFC people:

2007-05-28T16:06:00.000-04:00

UFC 71 was great. You should watch it. Even the matches that nobody cared about ended up being good. Go. Now. Watch.

How war was meant to be...

2007-05-01T20:39:00.000-04:00

My apologies if I've posted this before.

UFC Upsets

2007-05-01T19:51:00.000-04:00

UFC 69: Matt Serra - would be a has been, if he had ever been much of anything. Showed some promise but never made it. Gets a title shot by winning a reality show versus a bunch of other would-be has beens.
Georges St. Pierre - Unseated the most dominant welterweight champ in UFC history in his last fight. Huge favourite to win.

Highlights

UFC 70: Gabe Gonzaga - Mainly a Jiu Jitsu guy. The underdog by most accounts, but was picked to win by submission by enough people.
Mirko Cro Cop: A pretty dominant kick boxer with some pretty dirty kicks.

View some of Cro Cop's aforementioned dirty kicks:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IsDc3v9SoiE&mode=related&search=

Gonzaga surprises Cro Cop with some of his own medicine:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Wh6vmhZ_fiI

Finally!

2007-04-18T16:07:00.000-04:00

The government has finally seen the light and is going to ban incandescent bulbs by 2012. I'm sure they could've done it by 2010, but progress is progress.

Good Deal

2007-04-16T18:55:00.000-04:00

1GB SD cards at Future Shop are a pretty decent deal at $14.99
But Best Buy is selling the same cards for $59.99. So point that out to them and get the same price minus 10% of the difference: $10.49 each.

This Guy For PM

2007-04-11T21:03:00.000-04:00

I've never wanted to vote for the Marijuana Party more than I did after seeing this photo of the leader on their website:

Keep up the good work guys!

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

2007-04-11T20:25:00.000-04:00

Belinda is leaving politics. After all, the Liberals don't have seem to have a chance of forming the government in the next election, so why would she stick around? I'll miss the old "You're only picking on me because I'm a beautiful woman in politics and that threatens you" routine any time somebody called her for her opportunism or the overall shitty job she was doing. Let's file this politician in the forget about me as soon as I'm gone column beside the likes of Miguel Figueroa and Jean-Serge Brisson.

Things that make me want to get a Wii

2007-04-01T17:56:00.001-04:00

This game would be even better if there wasn't a lag between making a gesture and seeing it happen on screen.

Something you might expect for Leno...

2006-11-30T22:05:00.000-05:00

From the Ceet:
When will those crazy Iraqi secretaries realize that violence isn't the answer?

Sadly, this error has been fixed since getting the screen shot.

Something you'd expect from The Onion...

2006-11-18T15:30:00.000-05:00

Scientists say pollution may combat global warming

Updated Thu. Nov. 16 2006 2:49 PM ET

Associated Press

NAIROBI, Kenya -- If the sun warms the Earth too dangerously, the time may come to draw the shade. The "shade" would be a layer of pollution deliberately spewed into the atmosphere to help cool the planet. This over-the-top idea comes from prominent scientists, among them a Nobel laureate.

The reaction here at the UN conference on climate change is a mix of caution, curiosity and some resignation to such "massive and drastic" operations, as the chief UN climatologist describes them.

The Nobel Prize-winning scientist who first made the proposal is himself "not enthusiastic about it.".....

The Dutch climatologist, awarded a 1995 Nobel in chemistry for his work uncovering the threat to Earth's atmospheric ozone layer, suggested that balloons bearing heavy guns be used to carry sulfates high aloft and fire them into the stratosphere.

While carbon dioxide keeps heat from escaping Earth, substances such as sulfur dioxide, a common air pollutant, reflect solar radiation, helping cool the planet.

Tom Wigley, a senior U.S. government climatologist, followed Crutzen's article with a paper of his own on Oct. 20 in the leading U.S. journal Science. Like Crutzen, Wigley cited the precedent of the huge volcanic eruption of Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines in 1991.

Pinatubo shot so much sulfurous debris into the stratosphere that it is believed it cooled the Earth by .9 degrees for about a year....

A massive dissemination of pollutants would be needed every year or two, as the sulfates precipitate from the atmosphere in acid rain.

Wigley said a temporary shield would give political leaders more time to reduce human dependence on fossil fuels -- the main source of greenhouse gases. He said experts must more closely study the feasibility of the idea and its possible effects on stratospheric chemistry.

Nairobi conference participants agreed.

"Yes, by all means, do all the research," Indian climatologist Rajendra K. Pachauri, chairman of the 2,000-scientist UN network on climate change, told The Associated Press.

But "if human beings take it upon themselves to carry out something as massive and drastic as this, we need to be absolutely sure there are no side effects," Pachauri said...

Oh Snap!

2006-08-23T11:26:00.000-04:00

This post from Overheard at Western is probably the best they've ever had.

What a wonderful world.

2006-08-18T07:59:00.000-04:00

Think of what a great place this would be if everyone was as compassionate as these guys. I can't seem to find the pictures on the net. If anyone sees them, please send me the link.

Cuba's New Leader?

2006-08-03T23:18:00.000-04:00

From cbc.ca:

At 75, he is Fidel's younger brother by five years and for probably all but that time he has been by his side — at school, in jail, in their guerrilla hideaways leading up to the 1959 revolution, and in power. But throughout his life, he has always been taunted: "You're too little to be a dictator Rudy". And so, while the big boys get to play dictator, poor old Rudy Castro will have to settle for memories of playing a few lousy minutes for Notre Dame and then having an affair with Elijah Wood several years later.

An interesting game idea...

2006-08-03T23:13:00.000-04:00

...yet, it will never be as good as the online version of Pit.

http://www.peacemakergame.com/

UFC

2006-07-17T10:32:00.000-04:00

Looks like I got the winners right for UFC 61. There are a couple of big fights for UFC 62 on August 26:

Liddell vs. "Babalu" 2. I hoping and predicting that Liddell will take this one. Rumour has it that if Liddell wins he'll defend against Wanderlei Silva next. Silva has been pretty dominating in Pride FC and he wants to fight the UFC light heavyweight champ. I'd rather see him fight Liddell than Babalu.

Griffin vs. Bonnar 2: It was such a close fight the first time around. I think Griffin will more decisively than last time.

Finals

2006-07-08T09:31:00.000-04:00

Well, 11/14 ain't bad. The finals are a tough call. Let's say France will win the World Cup and Italy will win the Oscar.

Semi-finals

2006-07-02T08:05:00.000-04:00

I predict (well maybe not so much predict as hope for, but I still think it is a strong possibility) a France-Germany final. I'd hate to see either Italy or Portugal win it...Especially Portugal - They dive like crazy and have an overall poor sportsmanship...and so do their fans. Italian fans are the same, but to a lesser extent, at least near where I live.

Imagine if people flew half the number of Canadian flags year-round as we've seen flags of other countries these past few weeks.

Quarter finals

2006-06-30T18:05:00.000-04:00

I know I'm a bit late, but here are my predictions:
Germany - they played impressively in the round of 16 and I've yet to see Argentina really shine, although it'll be close. (honestly, that was my prediction)

Italy - no brainer

Portugal - England hasn't played all that well yet. Portugal will take this one and lose in the semi-finals.

France finally had a good game, but can they keep it up. Like Argentina, Brazil hasn't really played at their best. I think France might edge their way into the semi-finals.

Stars and Dogs

2006-06-25T20:09:00.000-04:00

Sweden v. Germany
Stars: Podolski for his 2 quick goals & Sweden's Keeper for several key saves to keep Sweden's hope alive.
Dogs: The German Keeper for 2 terrible plays that could have cost Germany the game.

Netherlands vs. Portugal
Stars: none, maybe vad der Sar for a few key saves that kept hope alive.
Dogs: Basically everyone on both teams. Special mention goes to Figo who should be given a hefty fine and be suspended for the rest of the world cup.

Round of 16 predictions

2006-06-24T10:42:00.000-04:00

Germany v. Sweden - This one is a toss up for me, but I think Germany will come out on top.

Argentina v. Mexico - Argentina by 2.

Italy v. Australia - Italy

Switzerland v. Ukraine - Neither team is really a powerhouse. It could go either way. Let's say Ukraine, just for fun.

England vs. Ecuador - England should take it by at least 2 or 3 goals.

Portugal vs. Netherlands - On paper, the Dutch should have this one, but they haven't impressed me much so far. It may be close, but I'll still say the Netherlands will win though.

Brazil vs. Ghana - Brazil hasn't been playing their best either, but they should take Ghana easily.

Spain vs. France - Frace has basically tanked since winning the Euro Cup in 2000. Spain should win.

Good News

2006-05-31T19:22:00.000-04:00

Let's here it for a Ontario's new smoking ban. It's great. Even when I was a smoker, I always hated it when a bar was really smoky. I liked going out to the patio to have a smoke. I'm also pleased that the "patios" in London that have 4 walls and a roof don't qualify as "outside" anymore.

Last Comic Standing

2006-05-31T19:12:00.000-04:00

Mr. King has been missing Last Comic Standing. Well sir, it was on last night. I hope you didn't miss it. There were a few good people on there. I hope to enjoy more of this hilarity in the near future.

A sad end for Royce Gracie

2006-05-30T17:42:00.000-04:00

Wow, I can't believe Royce Gracie got dominated the way he did on Saturday, especially on the ground. I expected Hughs to take it in the second or third by strikes (standing), but I expected Gracie to at least get somewhat close to a submission, too. I guess he's over the hill now, but what a legend he was in his time.

After the fight, Gracie was toying with the though of another fight, but maybe he should retire. At least his one loss was at the hands of someone who will become almost as big of a legend as Gracie is. If he takes another fight and loses, he'll really be tarnishing his reputation. And let's face it, he's got a good chance of losing: Now that jiu jitsu is such a big part of MMA (because of Gracie's dominance), he's lost his advangtage: People know how to defend against him now.(can you smell the irony?)

Coming up in July: UFC 61: two big matches: Sylvia vs. Arlovski and Ortiz vs. Shamrock.
I think Sylvia will KO or TKO Arlovski with strikes and Ortiz will take out Shamrock. Shamrock is definately over the hill.

The latest idol loser

2006-05-10T21:45:00.000-04:00

I'm not a big American Idol fan, but this season had a lot of variety in the style of singers on the show. The rightful winner should've been Chris Daughtry, but he was voted off this week. Basically, there's no point in watching the show anymore because the three people left are not worth watching:
Taylor is like your half drunk uncle singing at a wedding.
Catherine sings out of tune almost as often as she sings in tune.
And the other guy is pretty average...his performances (like his name) are pretty forgetable. Sure I could look up his name, but he's not worth it.
I hope Chris puts out a record even though he lost, just like when the big KFC eating guy won but the loser got more press.

Federal Budget

2006-05-03T19:23:00.000-04:00

A few things on the 2006 federal budget, despite what the opposition says:
1) Income taxes will not be going up for the vast majority of Canadians.
2) Low Income Canadians are not being disadvantaged by the tax measures in the budget.
3) Bill Graham: "Why didn't the prime minister tell the country in his campaign that one of his five priorities would be raising income tax for the poorest of Canadians?": Disproving the lies.
4) what the opposition won't say about the $1200 for beer and popcorn.

1)Let's compare the Liberal Income tax plan with the Conservative income tax plan, both being compared to the old 16%.

Liberal plan: the lowest tax bracket is about $27000 wide (from about 8500 to 35500, according to my 2005 T1 General) If you make more than 35500 you will save 1% on the entire 27000:
1% x 27000 = 270

Conservative plan: if you have a job, the lowest tax bracket is $26000 wide (from 9500 to 35500) If you make more than the 35500 then you will save 0.5% on 26000:
0.5% x 26000 = 130
Plus you will now not pay tax at all on $1000 of your income:
16% x 1000 = 160
Total savings:160+130=290
$20 better than the liberal plan if you earn over 35500.
(put another way, to prove that i'm not fudging the numbers: after liberal cuts you'll pay an extra 0.5% on 26000 (=130) but you'll not pay tax on 1000 at the lib's 15% (=150), so you pay 130 extra, but get back 150, total benefit:$20)

So it's basically the same deal for the average canadian family.
2) Let's look at low income earners, who will apparently pay more tax now, according to the lib's and ndp: (note: this section a.k.a. Bill Graham: Liar or dummy? part 1)
let's take a single working mom making not-so-much money, let's say $15,000. Under liberal plan she'll pay: (excluding all other tax credits, etc.)
15% x (15000-8500) = 975
under conservatives (excluding all other tax credits, etc.)
15.5% on (15000-9500) = 852.5
So enjoy your extra $122.50 single working mother making $15000/year. Plus your $100/month for each child under 6, plus tax credits any sports the kids play, plus tax credits if you use public transit, plus your 1% GST cut.

3) Bill Graham: Liar or dummy? (part 2)
The lowest income Canadians don't pay income tax at all, so a 1% cut in the income tax rate doesn't do squat for them. However, everyone pays GST, including those who don't earn enough to pay income tax. GST cut makes a difference, Income tax cut doesn't. Secondly, The Conservatives were pretty clear that we'd be going back to 16%, which was actually improved by only going back up to 15.5%. Add that to the employment credit, and as it has been shown already: we're better off than the 1% cut the lib's gave anyways.

4) The opposition loves to say that the budget is taking from the poor and giving to the rich. They also love to say that the $1200 isn't so great because it's taxable income. Let's examine that statement in more depth: The lowest income canadians don't pay income tax, so they get to keep the $1200. Higher income candians pay a higher rate of income tax, so they'll pay more tax on it. There is a loop hole for the rich in this one: if one parent makes loads of cash and the other stays home, they'll be able to keep the full $1200 because it is taxable to the lower income partent. All-in-all it's probably more progressive to tax the $1200 than not to tax it.

TBS sheds a new light on LOTR

2006-04-08T21:44:00.000-04:00

TBS has some pretty funny commercials out for their showing of the LOTR trilogy next weekend. Here's the link to my favourite one, but feel free to watch them all.

Bush Annouces Plan to Solve America's Obesity Epidemic.

2006-03-28T19:50:00.000-05:00

At a press conference today, President George W. Bush announced his new plan to solve the obesity epidemic in American youth. He announced the creation of the new Department of Health & Fitness and the new Secretary of Health & Fitness Jared Fogle.

This seems like a top notch plan. Keep up the great work!

Spiderman

2006-03-27T17:14:00.000-05:00

I woke up early yesterday and couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to turn on the tv. The only thing on besides infomercials was the old, old Spiderman cartoon. It was bad on so many levels, but I will mention only 1 here: Physics don't seem to exsist at all, even in the superhero physics sense. Take this picture for example. Spidey is WAY above any building in the city, what's the web hanging from? A cloud? He also did a pretty good job of swinging from non-existent tall buildings in the suburbs.

At the end of the show, spiderman is clinging to the wall of a building looking into a window. The "camera" looks over his shoulder to see what he sees. At the end of the scene, the camera zooms out and spiderman removes his hands from the wall and turns to the camera to say his final line. Someone should've said "Hey, Spidey! you're not hanging on to the wall anymore, shouldn't you be falling now?" But they didn't, and that's why the show got cancelled. The end.

Congratulations!

2006-03-22T21:39:00.000-05:00

Congratulations to Matt Plumb, who placed 11th in this season's American Idol. Be proud of yourself Matt, not just for doing so well on the show, but also for not aging for the past 6 or 7 years.

Home Improvement Returns!

2006-02-23T20:01:00.000-05:00

Home Improvement is set to air brand new episodes this fall. All the old cast is back, including disgruntled Liberal Environment Critic Scott Brison. When asked why he chose to leave Parliament for his old TV job, Brison responded "I want more power, arrr arrr arrr."

Who says forwards aren't funny any more?

2006-02-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

One of the rare forwards that made me laugh out loud:

Obligatory Post: It's been a while.

2006-02-06T20:24:00.000-05:00

Now that Paulie's not the PM anymore, he told reporters that he'll pursue his career in rock 'n' roll.

More on "A woman's right to choose"

2006-01-23T16:30:00.000-05:00

As I have made clear in the past, I'm not pleased with the phrase "A woman's right to choose". It's called abortion. Today I overheard some young adults talking about how the Conservatives want it to be illegal for women to vote. That's how they understood "A woman's right to choose". I'll admit these people were not the brightest lights I've ever met, but there are a lot of dim lights out there. That's one more reason that I hate the phrase "A woman's right to choose".

I'm also unhappy that the phrase is accepted so readily. If a pro-lifer called it "murdering an unborn child", he/she would be label as an extremist in a heartbeat. Yet, "A woman's right to choose" is just as extreme. Calling it "abortion" is the middle ground. In the same light, I don't like how it's becoming acceptable to say that somebody is pro-choice or anti-choice. Think of how extreme it would be if pro-choicers were called "anti-life". The middle ground here is pro-life/pro-choice. But it seems that more and more, anyone who doesn't fully agree with the social-left is an extremist. If I'm in favour of any sort of restriction on abortion at all, I'm an extremist. In fact, those who believe there should be no restrictions are the extremists (and also those who believe that there should be no abortions whatsoever). The middle view is that there should be some limits placed on abortion. The most obvious one is a time limit (before the end of the first or second trimester for example).

Most would agree that abortions should be allowed in cases of rape or a chance of the mother dying from complications. But I'm not big on irresponsible teens getting abortions so that they won't get in trouble from their parents or getting an abortion because the mother will be unable to care for the child. In the words of Jack Layton "There is a third choice": adoption. However, this kind of thing would likely be difficult to legislate and even more difficult to enforce.

If there were any restrictions ever legislated, it should be a time limit on abortions. That's a balanced approach that should be acceptable for most people who hold a moderate view on the subject.

Martin's day of thinking pays off big!

2006-01-19T18:50:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Paul Martin was took a day just to think of a way to win the election. He came up with not one, but two stallar ideas. He acted on those ideas today. First he put a curse on Gilles Duceppe:

Then he did an impression of Stephen Harper: "OOoooOOOOooOOoooo. IIII'm Steeephen Haaarper. I'm veeeery scaaaarey. If you vote foooor meeeee or I will haunt yooooooooou foreeeeeeeeeeeever. Beeee afraaaaaaaid."

Good job Paul. If this doesn't turn things around, I don't know what will.

Martin's Day

2006-01-18T16:43:00.000-05:00

Paul Martin has been sitting around all day today, trying to think of a way to win the election.

He's hoping that it'll be easier to come up with an idea if he uses an energy saver bulb.

More of the Sex Club Issue

2006-01-18T16:30:00.000-05:00

Layton has attacked Martin's notwithstanding clause, saying that it could be necessary to use it to protect gay marriage and sex club rights.

Last night Paul Martin responded to Layton's attack, reaffirming his support of sex clubs and gay marriage.

In true Paul Martin form, his response didn't actually address the issues raised. You could go on forever with Martin and not get any reasonable answer.

After his announcement and spanking, Martin took some questions:

"If you get rid of the notwithstanding clause, how will you defend our right to go to sex clubs if the courts take it away?"

"Well, first of all, let me say that I believe very much that this is essentially an important problem."

"That's not really an answer to my question, how will you defend our rights to go to sex clubs?"

"We will work very hard to defend the rights of Canadians, whether it's on sex clubs, gay marriage or a woman's right to choose."

"Ok, but HOW will you defend it?"

"We will defend it essentially, by fighting very hard, because this is, in fact, a very very important issue."

"Thanks for clearing that up."

Layton and the Notwithstanding Clause

2006-01-17T22:14:00.000-05:00

Layton attacked Paul Martin on the notwithstanding clause again today: "If the supreme court decided to take away the right of Canadians to frequent swinger's clubs, how would a government defend the rights of Canadians with out the notwithstanding clause?"

Layton then entered the Gaslamp Sex Club with these individuals:

Martin and the US

2006-01-17T22:04:00.000-05:00

This picture makes me wonder who's really in bed with the Americans:

Look at those puppy dog eyes, gazing lovingly at Bush. Isn't it cute? I heard that after this photo was taken, Martin said "He's so dreamy. He makes me feel like a school-girl again." He kept sighing all the time too.

Liberals release more ads

2006-01-17T19:56:00.000-05:00

While watching TV tonight I noticed that the Liberals have some new ads out. Watch the new Liberal ads here. The second one is the best. I don't even like the other two.

On an unrelated note, it seems that 22 Minutes has stopped sucking. I remember watching the end of it sometimes while waiting for Air Farce to come on and thinking "Who in the blue hell thinks that the Quinton Quints is a funny skit?". It appears as though everyone abandoned ship and the new cast isn't doing so bad (at least not this week). Time to watch Mercer now.

Update: Mercer's commercials were WAY better. Unfortunately they are not available on his website.

Layton pushes the NDP drug.

2006-01-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

In true drug dealer style, Jack Layton asked disillusioned Liberal voters to "Vote for us just this once in this election". Layton later added that "The NDP just makes you feel good. You can stop voting for us whenever you want. We all do it. Only losers don't vote for the NDP." It's always the same old trick: They find some poor souls who feel like they don't belong, make them feel comfortable with their new friends and them wham! Next thing you know there's money missing off the dresser and your daughter's knocked up. I've seen it a hundred times. Voting NDP is an expensive habit. The only people they help are people who live in a van down by the river. And with the taxes you'll pay, it won't be long before it's you living in a van down by the river. Let me tell you something: Rumpelstiltskin is a good man, and so are you guys. So stay clean, stay focused, stay strong and don't vote for the NDP.

davidjthuss, I welcome all comments more random than this post (especially those containing unrelated Sandler and Farley quotes).

"A woman's right to choose"

2006-01-14T10:10:00.000-05:00

I'm getting pretty sick of people accusing Stephen Harper of wanting to take away "a woman's right to choose" and how Jack Layton would defend "a woman's right to choose", as if this is some flowery issue. I'd rather here accusations that Stephen Harper would make abortions illegal and that Jack Layton would not make abortions illegal. Let's call it what it is. Calling it "a woman's right to choose" makes it sound like Harper wants women to be at home, barefoot and pregnant, doing all the housework because she doesn't have the right to make choices in her life, and she's forced to do what her husband tells her. Men and women in Canada will always have the right to make choices. The question is whether or not they should have the choice of aborting a fetus. A question that will not be raised by Stephen Harper in the next parliament. He clearly stated that abortion will not be an issue.

Slippery Slope Proven to be Pure Myth

2006-01-13T23:51:00.000-05:00

Remember all those crazy people who said same-sex marriage could put us on a slipperly slope? Those crazy people with their crazy theories.

It appears as though same-sex marriage has opened the door to a possible Charter challenge for polygamy. It seems some religions allow it, so it's a religious right. What's next? Perhaps the once joked about "same-person" marriage. Or more likely same-family marriage. What about bi-sexual marriage to both a man and a woman. Perhaps inter-species matrimony. And what happens when pedophiles get on the bandwagon? Martin will definately be wishing he won the election so that nobody could use the notwithstanding clause to take away our basic human right to marry many blood related children of both genders, along with the family pet.

Those crazy theorists and their slippery slope. What'll they think of next? Inflation?

I'm thinking that maybe this post is a little too sarcastic. I'll try to tone it down a little next time.

New Liberal Ads

2006-01-13T13:22:00.000-05:00

I was watching The National last night, where Paul Martin answered questions "town hall" style. When asked about the ads, Martin said "There's no doubt about it, I approved those ads". Less than 2 minutes later, Mansbridge said "You approved those ads", to which Martin replied "No I didn't". Wow. Truly amazing. That's an even quicker flip-flop than on the notwithstanding clause. He's down from 2 weeks to 2 minutes. That's fantastic.

Paul Martin everybody. Give him a hand.

By the way, when Martin would "answer" questions by saying how good a question it was and how important it was and how big a problem it was, I think Peter Mansbridge did a decent job of calling him on it and telling him to answer the question. Mansbridge can get a little bit tougher on politicians than Don Newman. Here's how things go when Don tries to get tough on somebody:

"Aren't the Liberals corrupt, and this is just a way to try to hide it?"
"No, we're not corrupt, we're not trying to hide anything."
"Ok. Let me ask another question: What do you think about being down in the polls?"

That's great Don, just take their word for it immediately. You're doing a great job.

Liberals plan to ban weapons in space.

2006-01-11T21:05:00.000-05:00

Liberal Leader Paul Martin has formally unveiled his party's platform, which includes a promise that a re-elected Grit government would lead a worldwide campaign to ban the weaponization of space.
"Liberals are firmly opposed to the weaponization of space and recognize that the best time to prevent an arms race in space is before one begins," reads a passage from the 84-page document, called Securing Canada's Success.
"While an existing international treaty explicitly forbids the stationing of weapons of mass destruction in space, there is currently no multilateral agreement banning the deployment of handguns in space. A Liberal government will put forward an international ban on handguns in space. Most gun crimes in space are commited with stolen guns from collectors. We're only one break-in away from another murder in earth's orbit."

A very funny post.

2006-01-11T21:02:00.000-05:00

King's Perspective has a great post on the new Liberal ads.
It's a great idea.
I think you'll like it.
Add your own parodies.
I did several times.
I think there could be many hilarious updates.
I'm not making this up.
Go there.
See for yourself.

Martin Finally Answers Key Questions

2006-01-11T20:33:00.000-05:00

Paul Martin finally answered key questions that the media and the opposition leaders have been asking over and over with no reply (until today).

Q: How many criminal investigations of the Liberal Government are currently underway?
A:

Q: Who was really behind the sponsorship scandal?

Q: If you were re-elected as prime minister, how many days would it be before you stole money again?

Q: How many campaign promises are you planning on keeping?

Q: Where's your toupee today?

A: "Oh shit!"

Thank you Mr. Kinsella

2006-01-09T19:45:00.000-05:00

This is a rather funny post from Warren Kinsella that nobody should miss out on.

January 6, 2006 -

(CP – Special) Unidentified child (top right) reacts to hearing “come Hell or high water,” “transformative change,” “essentially,” “very, very important,” “fundamentally” and – most recently – a sitting Prime Minister actually commenting on the merits of an ongoing RCMP investigation: “offensive.” Another unidentified toddler (top centre) slips into a self-induced coma after reading all two pages of Liberal campaign platform. Scott Feschuk, bottom right, channels Paul Wells for his next English-only blog entry.

Major platform announcements from Liberals and Conservatives

2006-01-08T20:39:00.000-05:00

Today, the Harper and Martin each unveiled the major piece of their respective platforms:

Martin: "If I am elected, I will take over the world, MUHAHAHAHA!"

Harper: "Under a new conservative government, Canadians would be watched by creepy eyes behind paintings, 24 hours a day."

Layton wanted to make a major announcement, but he finally realized that nobody has payed attention to him since the campaign began.

Liberals claim Conservative will create deficit

2006-01-08T20:05:00.000-05:00

The Liberals were claiming that Conservative promises will create a $12 billion deficit over the next 5 years. If that's true, then the Liberals will be right behind them. According to the CBC, Liberal promises total $59.4 billion, while Conservatives are promising $65.5 billion. That's without the cost of the 50/50 plan. About half of university students and almost all college students will be in first or last year in any given year. In 03/04 there were 990000 university students and I'll estimate 255000 college students (This is a very conservative estimate, since Red River College in Manitoba as 30000 students). That's 750000 students getting $3000 per year, or $2.25 billion per year. This plan isn't supposed to happen for another few years, but that's still another 4.5-6.75 billion for their 5 year plan. That puts them very close to the conservatives at about 64-66 billion dollars over 5 years.

So, why isn't Martin fessing up to his own deficit creating promises? There are a few possible explanations:

1) While Martin's promises total about $65 billion, he's not planning on keeping most of them anyways, so we'll see even higher surpluses from him.

2) As per usual, Martin is hiding billions of dollars so that when the surplus is suddenly a lot bigger than expected, he can look like a hero. There's actually more than enough surplus funds to cover the promises of both parties.

3) The Liberal version of Tory numbers are incorrect, either on purpose or by accident.

Thank you Funny E-mail. You made my day.

2006-01-07T23:28:00.000-05:00

"Girls only want boyfiends with great skills: You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, photoshop skills":

2006-01-07T08:54:00.000-05:00

I like this article. That is all.

New details for Conservative Child Care Plan

2006-01-06T15:20:00.000-05:00

The details announced by Harper today are good for the Conservative campaign and good for Canadians:

Releasing the details of the plan will finally get some attention a much neglected part of the child care strategy. Liberals and the media have both been ignoring the $250 million/year ever since the announcement was made. Liberals will no longer be able to get away with saying that the Conservative plan to give $1200/year to parents won't create new child care spaces because the voters will be more aware of the rest of the plan.

The plan is also a good solution to the problem of waiting lists. I've been saying for months upon months, that the best solution to the lack of child care spaces is to provide funding for non-profit day cares to expand or start new centres. It is very difficult for non-profit centres to raise the funds needed to expand or start a new centre. As the waiting lists get shorter, parents will have a choice of which day care centre to send their kids to, instead of just sending them to any centre where there is a space. Once parents have this choice, centres that provide a quality program will keep expanding and centres with poor quality, "babysitteresque" programs will decline. This could be a lengthy process without the aid of the government though. Ministry officials, which already visit and inspect child care centres routinely, should be able to vito any funding for poor quality centres to expand or open new locations.

Liberal tuition plan is a dud.

2006-01-05T16:57:00.000-05:00

While the Liberal's are promising the most money for Post Secondary Education of any major party, I disagree with how the money is spent. For students that cannot afford Post Secondary Education even with the currently available bursaries, grants and loans, Martin's plan will still keep many of the poorest students from entering into post-secondary studies. I would prefer to see grants to be given to students where the size of the grant is based on financial need, as long as a minimum level of achievement in their program is maintained. I should point out that none of the parties are really moving in that direction, but I believe it is a fair solution.

Unfortunately for Martin, no matter what he promises for PSE, he cannot be trusted to follow through on it: In 2004, the Liberals promised billions in funding for PSE. This promise was not kept by the Liberals. It was the NDP that forced the Liberals to include the money in the revised spring budget.

I support reducing interest rates on student loans, which the CPC and the NDP have talked about. However, these two parties are not doing enough to knock down the barriers to post-secondary education for the poorest students.

National Child Care "Plan" short on details

2006-01-04T08:11:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to find details on the Liberals' National Child Care Plan and found that there are none. The "plan" is to give the provinces $11 billlion over the next 9 years. The Liberals say this will provide accessable, affordable day care for all. I would like to know the cost per day for the users of this child care and what the structure of the program would be like. A plan consists of more than just setting aside some money.

The Liberals seem to love the Quebec system. They are going to commit $11 billion over 9 years which translates into $1.2 billion per year. However, In Quebec alone, the daycare system costs the government $1.2 billion per year. So basically, each province will get an average of $120 million per year, and end up paying 90% of the cost themselves. Sounds like more "premiums" will be needed in Ontario to pay for all this, since the feds took away so much of the transfer payments to the provinces to create their surpluses. Oh, wait, Ontario won't have to create new premiums to invest more money in the system. In fact, they won't even be forced to use the Liberals' money for child care. Since there will be no legislation involved in this "plan", the provinces could just spend this money on beer and popcorn instead.

Moving on...Let's say that the Liberal idea of "affordable" child care isn't $7/day or $35/week like it is in Quebec. Then let's see how much the plan would save parents. The Liberals say that the $11 billion will create 62500 new day care spaces (and subsidized the cost of using those spaces, apparently). If the money were to go purely to subsidizing the cost of daycare for those 625000 new space, there would be about $1955 per year per space. This makes a discount of about $38 per week to send a kid to daycare. However, that same $11 billion must create the new spaces first, aswell as subsidize current non-profit daycare spaces. So we could be looking at closer to $1 billion per year to subsidize 1 million day care spaces. That means $1000 per space per year, making it about $19.25 cheaper per week to send a kid to day care. Haven't the Liberals been arguing that the Conservatives' $25/week doesn't make day care affordable for Canadians? Seems to me that the National Day Car Program will make about the same difference in the cost to parents.

Either the Liberals don't really have a plan for national day care (beyond giving away money) or they know that the money they are setting aside isn't enough to create truly afordable child care, and they're hiding that fact from voters.

Why won't Goodale Step Down?

2005-12-28T22:23:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that most high-ranking people give up their positions while they are being investigated. Ralph Goodale and other Liberals don't seem to follow the same rules of etiquette. The argument always seems to be "Nobody has proven anything, so why should I step down?" Hey, Liberals, that's not the point. The right thing to do is to give up your position (whether you're guilty or not) until you are cleared of any wrongdoing. Other people seem to understand that, but I guess when you're as power-hungry and desparate as the Liberals, staying in power is the only thing that matters, and doing the right thing went out the window a long time ago.

Sex Clubs

2005-12-27T00:48:00.000-05:00

Last week, the supreme court decided that sex clubs were legal. When Martin was asked for his response, all we got was "Ba da ba da ba, I don't know folks".

Layton was quick to attack Martin: "Paul Martin is not Captain Canada, he's Captain 'I want to have a threesome with Belinda Stronach and Joe Clark's daughter'".

Today, Martin finally admitted that he supports the right for sex clubs to remain open: "Let me be very clear: We believe that it is fundamentally un-Canadian not to have a threesome with Belinda Stronach and Joe Clark's daughter. And let me say something to M. Deceppe... You are not going take away from my kids, with some sneaky, backdoor question, their right to do Adrian Clarkson while George Stroumboulopoulos watches and calls her a filthy whore. Ms. Clarkson is a dynamo in the sack, and my kids have a right to experience that first-hand."

Martin stuck around for a photo-opp after the announcement.

Layton

2005-12-22T16:14:00.000-05:00

Layton had a good one-liner this week, well, not so much a good one as an awkward yet funny one:

“Paul Martin is no Captain Canada, he's Captain 'What Can I Say to Get Votes Today,’”

You may now resume your normal activities.

Adscam

2005-12-16T16:00:00.000-05:00

I just happened to catch a comment on CPAC when I turned on the TV. A french radio show was on, and the caller was asked about the sponsership scandal. The caller was not upset by it saying: "Who stole the money? Quebecers. Who was in charge of the money? Quebecers."

In other words, adscam shouldn't really be much fuel for the separatist fires because the same thing would've happened in a separated Quebed.

I thought it was an interesting viewpoint.

2005-12-14T19:45:00.000-05:00

An informal request from a fellow blogger:

"those adds are a bit less corny, man I hope they canned whoever made those earlier adds. I think one of the adds should be a voice over of Saddam Hussein saying 'I'd vote for Paul Martin'and then cut to a phony picture of Martin kicking a hobo.now that's an ad"

You asked for it, so here it is:

It doesn't look much like a hobo, but it'll do.

More on David Wilkins

2005-12-14T17:08:00.000-05:00

While Conservative leader Stephen Harper did not support Wilkins' comments yesterday, he did call Martin "The kid at school who would call you names from a safe distance". Martin, afraid of looking like a sissy, tried to show that David Wilkins isn't the only on who can conjure-up fireballs in his hands. He was not successful

Martin rejects U.S. ambassador's rebuke

2005-12-13T20:51:00.000-05:00

From http://www.cbc.ca/story/canadavotes2006/national/2005/12/13/wilkins-051213.html:
"Martin rejected criticisms by Ambassador David Wilkins, who suggested the Liberal leader had attacked some U.S. policies to score political points. "

HEY MARTIN! The dude can hold fireballs in his hands, try n0t to piss him off.

The question Quebecers really want answered.

2005-12-12T20:07:00.000-05:00

Quebecers really want to know whether the party leaders favour Quebec or the rest of Canada. At Bizarro World, we ask the questions nobody else will ask, the questions that people really want answered. That's why we asked each party leader: "Who would you rather do: Rita MacNeil or Roch Voisine?" Here are their reactions:

Conservative child tax benefit is totally unfair

2005-12-12T18:34:00.000-05:00

Why shouldn't I get $1200/year to spend on beer and popcorn just because I don't have kids? I hope the Consevatives know that it's not just kids that like beer and popcorn.

Young people showing more interest in politics

2005-12-11T00:19:00.000-05:00

Who says young people aren't interested in politics? This kid is already doing interviews about his "budget surplus".